Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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