How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
