someone get that fucking seahorse.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
