phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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