We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
