If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
These tits shall not be calmed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
