So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
