the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
