i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
