I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
