I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
