I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
