I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize