I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
