Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
