One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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