the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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