Jerry, you need to find god
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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