i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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