Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it's like iHOP with fire
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
