They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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