Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
