he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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