I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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