just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
