im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
