I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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