dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
