two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Randomize
