Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
