I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Come on in and take your pants off
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