I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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