I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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