I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
