let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
