Sponge bath it is.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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