i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
