dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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