id be glad to
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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