Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
