I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
