My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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