They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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