They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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