i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
