just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
