if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
