I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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