saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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