Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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