He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
