Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
