hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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