Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
