ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
