I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
