is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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