break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
