Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
