she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize