I didn't shave. On purpose
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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