when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
