your thong is hanging out like whoa
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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