A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
