I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
