garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
