She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
