Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
