Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
